I Will Be...

I will be the constant
The one who's in your life
I will be there fighting
When all else leaves behind strife
I will always love you
Despite what may occur
I will always be proud of you
Of this much I am sure

Written September 29, 2013
By Elisse Cook

Regarding the love our Savior, Jesus Christ, has for us.

Gestalt

The perception of this situation
Is making it hard to tell
The way we feel about ourself
To know if we already fell

The sensations aren't connecting
Aren't transducing all the way
So am I perceiving this correctly?
There isn't much understanding at bay

I feel like this is processing top-down
Isn't it supposed to be bottom-up?
I feel like we're just making assumptions
Too far away to see the lack of water in the cup

So we find ourselves here yet again
Trying to figure things out
We're both unsure of what we want
Our perceptions are causing us to doubt

I'm not sure that I should need you
And I know you feel the same
So I'm thinking we should let each other go
Cause we're trying to win a losing game

Written October 1, 2013
By Elisse Cook

(My way of memorizing the terms in my Cognition class)

It's Kind Of

It's kind of a funny feeling
The way I'm beginning to feel
The way I'm smiling at nothing
The way I'm feeling like it's real

It's kind of a goofy scene
As I'm dancing down the hall
I'm singing a little song in my head
Caring not if I start to fall

It's kind of a silly situation
As I'm falling into your arms
It's not something I'm used to
But it's working my heart like a charm

It's kind of a laughable reason
The way I'm acting about you
I'm loving this carefree feeling
It's been more then past due

It's kind of a giddy sensation
As my adventurous nature takes off
Suddenly life is forever engaging
Like a dream had by Cristophe

It's kind of a fluttering of butterflies
That are flying all about
They cause me to laugh at the simplest of things
Leaving no space, at all, to doubt

Written September 27, 2013
By Elisse Cook

Dragon - Part 2 (The Finale)

What we had was nothing but a dragon.
I used to think it was real. Beautiful. Magical.
But now I see it was fake. Nonexistent. Just a myth.
I used to think that I wasn't okay about that.
But you know what?
I am okay with it.
I'm okay without you.
I'm more than okay, in fact.
I'm giddy.
I'm perfect.

I used to think that maybe we could try again later.
But why would I want that?
Why would I want someone who doesn't care?
I don't want that and I will never have that again.
I refuse to have that again;
Because I have control over my decisions.
And my ultimate decision...it's not you.
And it never will be.

I'm glad that I finally see that.
I wish I would've seen it sooner;
But then where would the learning experience be?
That's why you were put into my life.
So I could learn and see what I don't want.
What I shouldn't want.
That may sound harsh.
Okay...it is.
But that's life.
It's harsh, not fair, and challenging.
But...it's also perfect.

Everything that I've had to experience...I was supposed to.
I'm being tested.
I've had my fair share of trials.
But despite all that...
Life is perfect.
And it's perfect for me.

Written September 17, 2013
By Elisse Cook

Tell Me a Story

Tell me how I feel

Tell me how I will be

Tell me what I know

Tell me who I want to be

Tell me that I’m loved

Tell me that you care

Tell me I’m the perfect me

Tell me I’m worth the dare

Tell me the story of us

Tell me you love me so

Tell me you want me for a forever

Tell me I make you feel high when you should feel low

Tell me I’m worth the risk

Tell me I’m worth the fear

Tell me I’m what you’ve wanted

Tell me you’ll always hold me, dear

Tell me I can always count on you

Tell me you’ll always stay

Tell me you’ll be here no matter what

Tell me you’ll show me the way

Tell me that you’ve prepared

Tell me you’re something you’ve worked on

Tell me you’re proud of who you are

Tell me this isn’t just a con

Tell me what we have is eternal

Tell me you know we’re true

Tell me this is something you’ve prayed for

Tell me our love is something new

Tell me you’re willing to help me change

Tell me you’re willing to linger near

Tell me you’re willing to love me forever

Tell me my voice you’ll always here

Tell me our love was fantasy made real

Tell me you’ll never let me leave

Tell me you’ll always hold me tight

Tell me to me you’ll always cleave

Tell me you’ll love all of my quirks

Tell me you’ll love me despite my faults

Tell me you’ll love my little lost moments

Tell me our love will never be brought to a halt

Tell me there’ll be hard times

Tell me that we may fight

Tell me we’ll work through it

Tell me those hard times will make us burn bright

Tell me you’ll let your colors show

Tell me you’ll always be you

Tell me you’ll help me be me

Tell me we can always be true        

Tell me there’ll be good times

Tell me those times will be great

Tell me we’ll find joy in the hardships

Tell me the sorry’s will never be late

Tell me our love will be crazy

Tell me our love will be meaningful

Tell me our love will be simple

Tell me our love will be whole

Tell me you’ll never make me jealous

Tell me this is not some game

Tell me you’ve had some target practice

Tell me I’m where you’ve aimed

Written August 2013

By Elisse Cook

Dragon - Part One

What we had was nothing but a dragon.

Creatures we think are magical, mysterious, beautiful

Creatures we sometime wish could exist

But then someone comes around and says that they don’t

That’s what we had

Something that I thought was magical, mysterious, beautiful

Something that I thought was perfect

But to you, it was nothing

Something that never existed

So how do you expect me to feel about it?

Okay?

Content?

Dismissive?

Well I can’t.

You wanna know why?

Cause I put myself out on the line for you

I let myself hang by a thread.

Vulnerably

Intentionally

Heck, I didn’t even think about it

I was so caught up

I found myself so infatuated that when I got screwed over

I couldn’t help but feel blindsided

Taken advantage of

So, yeah.

I guess you could say I’m a little upset

But you know what?

Whatever

There’s nothing I can do about it

I tried, but you couldn’t care less

My wanting to have a two-way discussion

Turned into a one-way this is what’s going to happen

And I’m done trying

So maybe one day you’ll get off your high horse

Maybe one day something could happen

Once we both mature

Perhaps the distance is what we need

I mean, almost a thousand miles?

That’s pretty good

But who knows?

It’s not really worth thinking or worrying about

At least in this moment, it’s not

I guess I just wish that we could figure this out

Discuss what happened with us

What went wrong?

Cause honestly, I have no idea

What we had made me happier than I’ve been in a long time

It was probably the happiest I’ve ever been

So what happened to change that?

Was it something I did?

Was it something you needed?

I suppose I just miss what we had

Why can’t we talk about this?

What are we afraid of?

Cause I know, despite everything that happened, I need you in my life

And, I don’t know, I like to think you feel the same – I hope you do

I guess I just wish that one day we’d figure this out

But to be honest, I’m fine where things are now

I’m glad that we’re comfortable enough with each other

That we can, I guess, put all that behind us

And just be friends

I think that’s what we both need the most right now

I’m glad that you can be that for me

And I’m glad I can be that for you 

Written July 2013

By Elisse Cook

Let Yourself

There’s a moment in life

A moment that takes your breath away

And that feeling of not being able to breathe…

It’s okay

It’s okay because in that moment

You feel so much

Except scared

It seems like you can’t be scared

Or angry

Or sad

Anxious

Frustrated

…Just happy

Content

Life seems to have gotten so much simpler

And it’s peaceful

Suddenly all those dark skies

That endless rain

The constant storms

They’re gone

People say there’s always a rainbow after rain

You know what?

They’re right

There’s a moment in life

A moment that takes your breath away

You can’t breathe

You can’t think

You just let life happen

And when you let life happen

Take its course

Things make sense

And you realize something

Those dark skies

That endless rain

Those constant storms

They may have been there

In fact, they are there

But hiding behind it is that rainbow

It’s always there

So why don’t we notice it?

I don’t know

I’m still trying to figure it out

But you know what?

Despite all the hardships

Life can be good

Life is good

So let those moments take your breath away

However small they may be

It’s incredible how amazing life is

When we let go of the very thing that allows us to live

It’s those moments that we’ll always remember

So let yourself have moments

Just let life happen

And be captivated in the journey

Let yourself be mesmerized

Let yourself be you

Let yourself fall in love

Just let go of what’s holding you back

And just let yourself be happy

Written August 9, 2013

By Elisse Cook 

L.O.V.E. F.O.R.E.V.E.R.

Let's fall together
Over and over
Vicariously
Every single day

Loving intricately
Owner's of each others hearts
Varying in passionate degrees
Ever so slightly

Laughter fills the air
Obliterating the world's tension
Vaccinating our fears
Earning each others forevers

Fables proved real
Odysseys of truth
Radiating throughout time
Earning permanence
Vigilant of biases
Ever proving them false
Rafting those who try for a forever

Written July 16, 2013
By Elisse Cook   

Simplicity

Eyelet and lace
As the flowers fall down
A trust like no other
Royal like a crown
A like; not quite love
Grows each and every day
It's simple, yet it's perfect
As the content surfaces at bay

Written July 16, 2013
By Elisse Cook

Finals Week

Eyes open; but just barely
Just enough to shut again by the blinding light
Penetrating its way through the slightly cracked blinds
Just as the eyes begin to settle
A permeating noise finds its way throughout the room
The noise that makes the dreams stop
The day to begin

A new stress is born as the last week starts
The week that can determine a pass or a fail
The realization of the upcoming war
Makes the pain eminent while trying to get up

Eyes close; ever so slowly
As a deep breath is forced
Just enough to relieve just the slightest bit of stress
As the past semester comes to an end

Written July 15, 2013
By Elisse Cook

C & E

I first saw you and, in that moment, I knew

With you I would live for the first time

I found myself lost in Cloud Nine

And, believe me, I couldn’t be any happier knowing that I’m lost with you

I’ve spent my life guarded in hope I would find something amazing

With you, I found something even more – something perfect

This feeling has left me breathless; feeling so surreal

Knowing that my heart is being taken care of

I find myself smiling at absolutely nothing

And I can’t help but smile when I catch you smiling at me

My mind is forever housed in a happy state

I guess that’s why I seem to forget everything when I’m with you

Now that I’m with you, in this moment, I know

I’m living for the first time

I’m still lost in Cloud Nine

And, believe me, I couldn’t be any happier that I’m lost with you

Written July 10, 2013

By Elisse Cook – in honor of two of the greatest people you could ever meet

A Love

I want a love that takes my breath away

A love that’s full of surprises

I want a love that makes me realize what’s important in life

A love that’s real; that’s raw

I want a love where if my children were to walk in and see their parent’s dancing in the kitchen they roll their eyes but in their heads they know how lucky they are

A love that my children strive for

I want a love that makes me feel

A love that has made me learn to feel

I want a love where I know who I am

A love where I know who he is

I want a love that has taken time to built

A love that has and always will require work

I want a love that’s not afraid to talk

A love that talks despite the fear

I want a love that’s not afraid

A love that tries all

I want a love that has hardships and trials along the way

A love that builds our faith together

I want a love that’s full of love

A love that lasts into the eternities

Written July 7, 2013

By Elisse Cook

Tavi

For you I will be the best I can be
For you I will search for all of the beauty
For you I will linger with every butterfly
For you I will search and climb ever so high
For you I will always give all of my love
For you I will treasure that which is above

I will make you this promise that I will never leave
I will do all I can to hold to you, it’s you that I must cleave
I will not take for granted that which is in my life
I will count all of my blessings and not worry about the strife’s
I will recognize that there are trials that I will have to face
I will always stand my ground and never leave my place

I love you because you’re happy, you forget all that is bad
I love you because you never took for granted all that you had
I love you because you defied all that the doctors set for you
I love you because you proved yourself in all you had to do
I love you because you’re beautiful – both inside and out
I love you because you made me learn that there’s never a reason to doubt

You are so beyond special and reside within my heart
You are the one that makes the distance not seem so far apart
You are strong and perfect and loving in every single way
You are the one who knew it was time to go even though we wanted you to stay
You are the world to me despite all of my fears
You are the person I pray to be, and I hold that person dear

Written July 8, 2013
By Elisse Cook

Forever

Forever Fireworks

That’s what I’m looking for

No matter how grand or simple they may be

That spark

That burst of light

That still takes your breath away

Forever freedom

That’s what I need

Someone to help me forget about all the scary things in the world

Those insecurities

Those fears

Those could be’s that never quite made it

Forever fourth

That’s what I seem to be

But that’s okay because not all good things come first

The lessons learned

The doubts subsided

The moments that made me think

Forever forever

That’s what I’m going to have

Because I refuse anything less

I deserve love beyond all

I deserve to love beyond all

I deserve the pursuit of happiness

Written July 2, 2013

By Elisse Cook 

I'm so...

I'm so tired of wishing
On countless shooting stars.
Wasting all my 11:11's
To be right where you are.

I'm so done pretending
That's everything's okay.
That I don't care how you feel
Or care what you don't say.

I've tried my very best
To always be there for you.
But it's clear you never cared
Despite the fact I think you do.

You've used me; left me discarded
Leaving me alone to heal.
I'm not coming back
I've lost that drive to feel.

I'll be there for myself
So sit around and play your little game.
I'm going to learn to love
And learn to love where I aim.

A little target practice
Is all I really need.
I thought I had hit a bullseye
But you never took to the lead.

I'm so ready to love
To put my heart out on the line.
I'll let myself be vulnerable
I'll search for all the signs.

So maybe I'll start wishing again
On countless shooting stars.
Giving all my 11:11's
To find that he's never been that far.

Written June 24, 2013
By Elisse Cook

A Story

The trees flow slightly through the florescent windows.
Each color,
Each breath,
Casts a light upon that which is unknown.
You sit across from me into that glow.
You are my haven,
My escape,
My safety.

I don't know you,
You don't know me.
But I've seen the story your eyes hold.
A story in which nobody knows,
Not even you.
But something that I do know,
When I looked into those eyes,
I fell in love with you.

Written September 2009
By Elisse Cook

The Loss of a Life - Part Two, Neglect/Lack of love

A wall

Is stared at blankly by a girl.

It’s the only hope she has -

It’s her friend.

She sees herself within it,

Plain and bland.

Maybe she is that wall

It’s overlooked,

Taken for granted.

She tries not to care

That she is the wall –

Painted over

And covered.

Yet, it holds so many surprises

That only she will know.

She tries not to care

That there’s no one willing to see past her,

That no one is taking the time to care,

That she is slowly going numb

The light that once shown through her is gone,

Diminished,

Only a faint, quiet memory that she desperately tries to hold onto.

All she can see is darkness ahead,

A thundering cloud encompassing all that she is.

A wall

Is stared at blankly by a girl

It’s the only hope she has.

It’s her friend. 

Written June 14, 2013

 By Elisse Cook

Coincides with "Protect the Children" written by Elder Dallin H. Oaks for the October 2012 General Conference for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. 

Here's a copy of the article:

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/10/protect-the-children?lang=eng

The Loss of a Life - Part One, Abortion

A life lost

Thrown away due to a selfish desire

It’s not fair - 

Encouraging the preventable

Relishing in the avoidable

Willingly participating in the avertable

There’s always a choice

A choice to save a life

Why take away that right from another?

What can you gain?

Why take away the opportunity for future generations?

Although there may be a circumstance

Where it is the only option 

A health circumstance - 

Not an "I'm scared"

"I'm not ready"

"I don't want this" circumstance

 Is the feeling really worth it?

The feeling of knowing the deed has been done?

The overwhelming feeling of guilt?

No one should have to suffer that.

No one. 

Written June 13, 2013

By Elisse Cook

Coincides with "Protect the Children" written by Elder Dallin H. Oaks for the October 2012 General Conference for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. 

Here's a copy of the article:

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/10/protect-the-children?lang=eng

Disclaimer

The Loss of a Life series travels through all the different situations of child neglect. Going into Marriage and Family Counseling, I am a strong advocate for safe and stable family environments. I read a talk recently called "Protect the Children" written by Elder Dallin H. Oaks for the October 2012 General Conference for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. In his talk, Elder Oaks covered many different topics that are very controversial today such as abuse, neglect/lack of love, abortion, and many others.

This series really means a lot to me. I understand that others may not have the same view as me but I hope that I do not offend. This is strictly my opinion of that which I want to implement into my work life once the time comes.

The talk is amazing and I strongly recommend reading it. The link is found below:
http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/10/protect-the-children?lang=eng 

Footsteps

Poem about a Guardian Angel

Footsteps.
That's all I heard as I watched him walk away.
The girl standing next to me,
Her form shaking with sobs.
One might not understand why he left.
But it happened.
There's not much you can do.
As she looked down at the overgrown grass
She carefully put her ring on the ground.
All I wanted to do was wrap my arms around her
But I couldn't.
How could I just stand there?
And do nothing?
I look over at him,
Our eyes meet before he walks toward her.
He looks at her stained face.
He wants to hold her,
Comfort her,
But what can he do?
As he reaches her
He sees the barrier between them.
He bends down to carefully pick up the ring
And realizes he can't get up.
The ring in his hand disappears as his fingers close over it.
He's staring at his fist as she brings her hand to her lips
And then touches the grave.
He watches her as her hand passes through him.
He wants to cry,
But the tears won't come.
He screams,
The sound ricocheting through the sky.
She walks away
Failing to not look back.

Soft, even breathing.
That's all I hear as I sit at her bedside.
I watch as her eyes slowly flutter open.
She gets up and walks right through me to the window
And carefully rests her head against the glass.
I watch as he walks into the room
And stands behind her,
Breathing in her scent.
He clasps a chain around her neck
And plants a soft kiss where the chain rests on the base of her neck.
He softly tells her he loves her before he walks out.
She is oblivious to what happened.
She places her hand over her heart trying to calm it down
And feels something cold.
Her hand instinctively closes around the chain
As she pulls it into eye view.
On it rests her ring,
The one she received long ago
But left only days before.
Silent tears slide down her cheeks.
Her smile is faint,
But it's real.

Written December 2008
By Elisse Cook

Something Truly Magical

The mind and heart

Two beautiful organs that keep us alive

It’s a constant battle for attention between the two

They’re a jealous type

I guess that’s why they can never seem to agree on anything

Each one trying to argue their side

Hoping that they’ll be right

The one’s whose decision is picked

Little do they take into account the well-being of those whom they reside.

It’s a frustrating dilemma is puts us all in

Trying to be the mediator between them

Although it’s hard to be the mediator when you’re the one who is dealing with it –

Physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally

However, there comes a time when something truly magical happens

A time when that contention is temporarily gone

A time when that once in a blue moon has been found

A time when they agree with each other

That’s how you know when something’s really right

I suppose if they always agreed

It would take away the magic of being able to choose for ourselves

Written Monday - June 10, 2013

By Elisse Cook